8 Things: I Never Thought I'd Do As A Mother

We all have pretty high expectations of ourselves as parents, I think.  And, ultimately, that's good.  There are some things, though, that you never in a million years imagined yourself doing.  Here are just a few of mine.  I never, ever, thought I would:

1. Sleep on the floor for four out of six hours and call it a good night.
2. Eat cheerios off the couch (or the floor!) and call it "cleaning up."
3. Dress my child in clothes he wore yesterday because they're "less dirty" than the ones he was just outside playing in.
4. Show another person his own poop.
5. Show another person my own poop.
6. Lure my child into the house after outside playtime by saying, "you can wash your hands in the sink!" like it's a special treat to wash your hands in this house. 
7. Use a stuffed rabbit puppet as a parenting "technique."
8. Explain that farts are "just a gas" and that "no, you can't see them."

So, what do you do that, uh, surpasses your parenting expectations?